I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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