Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
