is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
