It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Congratulations! We have a period
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