she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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