9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
