whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
