Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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