i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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