The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
