Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
