If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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