It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
