why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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