I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
