So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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