Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
