She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
