can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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