id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
