would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
