she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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