you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
