you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
