It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
