My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
