I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
