Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Panties = found
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