I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
