I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
