Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
