can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
