girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
