it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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