What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
