I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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