i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
