just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
