i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
