i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
