you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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