I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
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