the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
