Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
