i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
