Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
