Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
