So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
