I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
