I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
